Life is not always a smooth sail. Every now and then we encounter difficult situations that cause loads of stress to us. Work life is no exception. In fact during the course of your career you face many such situations that leave you in severe emotional turmoil.
Sometimes it is a difficult co-worker who snatches away your peace; sometimes it is the looming deadline that causes you sleepless nights.
Sometimes it is the cantankerous client; sometimes it is the angry boss.
Some other times it is a failure, a mistake, a setback or a lean patch that robs you of your happiness.
These situations often trigger a host of negative emotions within you like fear, anxiety, worry, frustration, depression, and anger.
However, if you let these emotions over power you, you will not be able to address the situation effectively. When you become overly emotional you lose your calm, your perspective as well as your objectivity.
As a result your efforts to deal with the situation turn out to be irrational too. Thus to come out of a difficult situation successfully and quickly you need to be more tactful and less emotional.
Here are some simple techniques to overcome prickly situations that usually trouble you at work:
At the receiving end: Supposing your boss criticises your work, what would be your immediate reaction? Would you accept it? Or would you become defensive? Or get frustrated?
John Adair, in his book titled ‘Effective Communication' writes, “ The people who can accept responsibility for a problem- whether they're directly at fault or not- are generally the only people who can correct it.” When you are at the receiving end, instead of ignoring, denying or deflecting the criticism, try to understand it.
Always listen to what your boss is trying to tell you, whether you agree with his views or not. Take the criticism at face value; don't assume that he/she has some ulterior motive. Use your mind to help articulate the situation, not make it worse. Don't react or respond to the criticism hastily.
Instead, simply convey that you have received and noted the message. Later, away from the heat, reflect on what was said.
If you think the criticism is justified, act upon it. If not, put in efforts to come up with a reply backed by solid facts to convince your boss.
Use positive tactics: Whether a client makes unreasonable demands or some of your co-workers are bent upon making your life miserable, always employ positive confrontational techniques to come out of the situation successfully.
You know very well that it is not going to work if you ask those persons to stop doing what they are doing. However more positive tactics can certainly help.
Approach the person with whom you are having the problem for a one-on-one discussion.
Use gentle humour if you can to ease the situation. Become a peacemaker and see if you can solve the issue.
Your pleasant and friendly approach will in all probability help you to reach an agreement about positive and supportive behaviour going forward.
No despair: If you are passed over for a promotion, sidelined or left out of a plum assignment never lose hope.
Also don't take it personally. That you were not selected does not mean that you're not talented enough.
The decision not to consider you for promotion or new assignment often has more to do with your company's specific selection criteria. It is easy to blame yourself and focus on your shortcomings and past failures when faced with a setback at work. But that is not going to help you in the least.
Instead see that you learn something from the experience.
Accept that setbacks are part of life. Focus on using your strengths to your advantage and turning tables in your favour in due course.
When in difficult situation, recognise that you have hot buttons that are easily pushed. Therefore, make sure you are not overreacting or becoming too emotional. To get out of knotty situations, being tactful is most important.
Who hasn’t had a tough time? Who hasn’t had those times that make or break a person’s’ self-esteem,or the times that make a person stronger or that make them weak? The song lyrics, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” by Kelly Clarkson, are not only catchy but very true. These difficult situations happen every day, affecting people all over the world. Difficult situations can affect people in ways that make a person stronger and ways that make them weaker.
Difficult situations can make a person stronger by the way he or she allows the situation to impact them. For example, if a fun family of four loses their house in a raging, uncontrollable, fire, that consumes objects in its path, but there was no loss of life, it can impact the family positively. Realizing the importance of the close-knit-bunch called family over material things can change the way he or she conducts his or her life. It can bring a family closer, stronger, and more together than ever before. In addition, another difficult situation one can overcome is the loss of a loved one. When a loved one passes away many feel crushed, afraid, and broken. They feel like their whole wide world has come tumbling down to the ground. Believe it or not, this situation can affect a person for the better. If the loved one passes away from lung cancer due to the life long addiction to smoking, this can promote a person to make better choices and save themselves from the slow suicide they are committing with every cigarette they smoke. Therefore, there are many ways difficult situations can affect a person in a positive way.
Tough times can affect people in a way that does not make them stronger, but makes them weak. It can affect them in a way that brings them down and make them feel unloved and worthless. An example of an adverse situation bringing an insecure student down into the dumps, is when the student allows a bully to define who they are. When listening to a bully, one begins to believe what they say. The bully begins to have complete control over the person, making themselves conscious about the teeny tiny flaws. They begin to lose self-esteem and they begin to believe the lies of the big, bad, bully. In return, feelings of despair, depression and worthlessness begin to invade their mind like little aliens of depression, and they feel like their life is not worth anything and, in some cases, they end it all. In addition to bullying, losing a job is another example of a tough time that can bring someone down. The loss of a job can cause financial problems and financial trouble can cause people to act in extreme ways. If circumstances get awful enough, a stressed father, trying to provide for his family, may even break the law to make ends meet. The father might steal to provide for himself and his family, or sell illegal substances all because of the problems of finances. This type of behavior can lead to major life changing consequences, such as jail. Difficult times can have many negative effects on a person’s’ life.
Therefore, difficult times can influence people positively by making them stronger, and negatively by making them weaker. Each person deals with tough situations in their own unique way. They can make or break a person in the blink of an eye. As you can see Kelly Clarkson’s song isn’t just a head-bopping-catchy-tune, but a life lesson. It teaches us to learn from our difficult situations, and climb over the huge mountains keeping us from overcoming them. Overall, rough times can change lives forever.